summer envy of a plenty *

as much as i;d wish to turn back
i know i cant and prolly i wont.
i have yet to watch myself grow after all these years.
for that, i shall make me happier.

yes, for now.
this is my addiction:

i have fallen in love for myself.
it;s something not within my control.
and the least i can do -  to make me happier,
on my own,  i can *hearts.

xoxo,
the insane-driven ade.

to count each day a blessing.
whether or not things turn out right.
the way we want it to be.
get use to it, you;ll meet familiar faces soon.

packing has never felt this shitty and emotional daunting.

will you learn to date me soon?

lets go to ikea to absorb the christmasy air.
lets head to town to look at the absurb lightings.
lets brisk walk through the mall as if we;re having a competition.
lets walk around chinatown aimlessly and slurping on tang yuans.
lets just end the day with a cosy evening on the sofa with soothing jazz.
lets all be contented with this simple delightful life i;ve forsaken these 6 mths.

all i want for christmas is an “ok”  from you. can?
thanks ah.

xoxo, ade;s

“i spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you
every single day yes, i’m really missin’ missin’ you

can you meet me halfway, right at the borderline
that;s where i’m gonna wait, for you
i;ll be lookin out, night and day
took my heart to the limit, and this is where i;ll stay
i can;t go any further then this
i want you so bad it;s my only wish

cause i want, i, i, i want you right now
i travel uptown, i travel downtown
i wanna have you around like every single day”

* B.E.P

like an addicted remedy to the ears. i like.

the date: unknown                             the time: unknown

we were planning an escape route.
through the meandering manual-pumped rivers.
secretly hidden and floating according to plan
within a brownish yellow self-built bookshelf look-a-like “boat”
just wentworth miller and me, trying to disappear before the eyes of the cops.

out of death-defying excitement and the moisture in my sanitary pad,
i slowly opened my eyes and allowed some light into my world of darkness,
stared straight into the clock and reflected..its fucking 6am in the morning.

in times like this, all i need is daddys casual vulgar expression
of KANI NA to sum up the ultimate sian-ness of being up when it aint time to .

NO MORE HEART-THUMPING ACTION DREAMS.
i need a goodnights rest PUHLEASE.

i was asleep and he was too.
he sneezes and i felt drips of  mucus on my face.
out of natural reaction, i grabbed his bolster that he was hugging,
used it to wipe my face and said on the top of my voice: “CHEEBYE KIA!”
then throws his bolster back at his face and went back to sleep.

and THAT is for sneezing in my face while i am dreamily asleep.
NO ONE DISTURBS MY SLEEP.
NO ONE SHOULD EVER ATTEMPT TO!

p/s: i;m usually not that violent. not till he robbed my freedom of sleep.

i just had the weirdest dream…
me cycling & maggie on a skate-scooter along the roads of amk.
seriously, this countdown is driving me utterly insane, inside out.

p/s: dont laugh at my drawing. i didnt have a mouse to use.
i merely used my finger to “draw” on the laptop;s touch pad
MAI HIAM CAN! *esp bear and shawn ah.

this is prolly the longest 3 weeks i;ve ever had.
it feels so near yet so far.
i;ve very much lost the motivation.
yes, lost all motivation to study/work.

maybe, if i stop thinking about it, it would pass
way way way way faster and feel less torturous…..

and of all the panic, i cleared 1/2 my wardrobe.
its another 1/2 to clear, with my shoes, books and tools.
and i;ll jolly be well on my way home.

the thought of getting up the plane then back to home.
then settling for good food. it;s such a blessing.

OH MY..
SAMBAL KANGKONG, SAMBAL STINGRAY,
SUGARCANE JUICE, PRAWN NOODLE, FRESH ROTI PRATA,
MILO DINOSAUR, AH BALLING, SATAY BEEHOON,
BUANGKOK;S FEN YUAN LONG YAN TANG,
EGG TOUFU, TIE BAN TOUFU, ASSAM FISH, FISH BALL NOODLES,
BEEF NOODLES, CHICKEN RICE, BUA KELUAK, SATAY, OTAH,
NASI LEMAK, MEE REBUS, MEE SIAM, LONTONG,
INDIAN ROJAK, FRIED FISH NOODLES…

I WILL BE FRIGGIN BACK TO CONQUER ALL OF YOU!

mommy + daddy is pushing me to start packing for home.
but how to? i still got 3 more papers and one more practical.
and i;m just so unmotivated to pack. the thought of packing is like…

having diarrhoea.

EMOTION #1: EXCITEMENT
because you might lose weight.

EMOTION #2: STILL EXCITEMENT
all rubbish in your system is out.

EMOTION #3: EXHAUSTION
dashing from wherever to the loo.

EMOTION #4: TORTURE
because it still wouldnt end.

sighs. tomorrow will be a better day.
i know it, because tomorrow i will make some money.